A Trip Down Memory Lane

I miss you. We had good times together. I remember when we took the 2 to Grand Concourse, and you noticed I was down and gave me words of encouragement
when I didn’t have any else to talk to. I remember when we rode our bikes to Yankee Stadium, but we didn’t have enough money to get in to watch the game, so we just hung out outside and listened to the announcer and the roars of the crowd. Remember the time we rode push scooters to Pelham Parkway and ended up at Pelham Bay Park? The week after, they stole the bike you had recently gotten for your birthday; I’m still angry about that. Ralph told me to let it go, but I looked up and down for it for weeks and never found it. I recall your favorite snack, two slices and a pineapple soda or a meat and cheese calzone if you felt like switching it up on any particular day. The pizza shop on Burke Ave, was a block favorite. You unknowingly gave me strength. So many memories; and now you rest with the angels. You are loved. You are remembered, always.

Sade – Maureen


A Mother’s Love

For nine months you carried me. Wrapped in your warmth, I felt your heartbeat. I was in tune with your emotions, every feeling, every sensation. Suspended within your womb, I traveled with you; Mom, where are we going today? I asked, but I was never sure if you could hear me. I hear this sound outside. It’s getting louder and louder. Suddenly I want to move; I want to dance . . . I am euphoric! I am rhythmic! I can’t help myself now! I’m kicking and spinning! Then you said: “What has gotten into this baby?” “This boy is really kicking.” We were intrinsically connected. I relied on you to feed me and nurture me. You were my life source; I was totally dependent on you.

In those months we bonded, I could feel the love you had for me, and it was comforting. It was a tranquility that the moon and the stars couldn’t explain. It was beyond comprehension how your voice soothed me; a restless life, at times impatient to make my entrance into the world. I wonder if you could sense me smiling, or perceive my happiness and contentment? I’m certain you could. I’m sure of it. That connection; that sacred connection between mother and son. That unbreakable bond; that love and care. That nurturing and the blessing that was you; that was us; I am thankful. I am joyful.

A physical cord that once connected us, that umbilical cord of life, that once fed me, and that conveyed our thoughts and feelings to each other; a beautiful work of the Lord, of his creation, and of his gift, has now become a spiritual cord, and I still need your love and your comfort. The comfort of a mother. A natural nurturer, a cultivator of life. Your smile. Your cheerfulness. Your spirit. Yes! I remember the times you spun me around the room and you danced with me! The many nights I felt the rhythm of your breathing; the days I could feel the rub of your hands against me; your singing and joyfulness. The days you were worried and somber I didn’t kick as much, but instead, I settled myself and stayed quiet. I wanted you to sleep more, be relaxed and fully rested. Your life source was stronger than ever.

Finally I had arrived! I made my debut into the world with much fanfare and jubilation. So many voices. So many things in my vision embraced with warmth and love. You looked at me and smiled. Laboring for many hours, and staying strong, just so you could make the transition smooth and have me arrive on schedule. Wow! What a mother! What a life force! I love you. We spent only three years together. You transitioned to the spiritual realm, but before that transition you left behind a gift: your only son. You may be gone in the physical sense, but your heart abides with me. Our connection remains. It is unbreakable, and it is eternal.

In these years, I find solace in you. I find joy and peace in your memory. We will again dance together; I will again see your radiant smile and  wondrous beauty. Your work is done here. I carry on the legacy that is you. An incomprehensible inner strength. A beautiful spirit that graced the world and touched many lives. You gave me life. I once lived in you. Now you live in me, Forever.

For My Mother

Mommy

Mother,

The heavens have opened

And received you

In eternal rest you sleep

You carry a piece of me with you

For I cannot see you

But in your presence I feel you

My desire is to be closer to you

In my dreams I seek you

Every breath I take

I breathe you

Your blood runs through me

Who would I be without you

Sorrow and anxiety overtake me

The dark waters of fear seek to drown me

Throw out your lifeline and comfort me

Mother I need you

Father has again abandoned me

He never deserved you

I pray for the day I once again see you

I was but three when you left me

So I struggle to remember you

But In my heart I will always carry you

Always remember I love you.