They Await the Day

The billows of peril blow;
The smoke of never ending agony
Is involuntarily inhaled,
And enters the bloodstream;
The torturous moments 
Are replayed over and over.
The body tries to rid itself of the invasion,
But once it starts, it cannot be stopped;
It must run its course.
It is difficult to remain calm as panic ensues.
Descent into the abyss seems imminent; 
The darkness is frightful and consuming.
Afflicted souls cry out
And reach for a place of light;
Hyper-vigilant eyes scan corners
In the darkness of night.
The pulse rate increases
And the heart palpitates.
The cries of the sorrowful
and the afflicted are seldom heard;
The dividing line between sanity
And insanity is easily blurred.
Windows to the soul are bloodshot
And clouded with tears;
The emaciated appearance
Is the result of the hardship of the years.
Curiosity of passersby cause them to look
Deep into the eyes;
The suffering of the soul is seen;
They quickly look away in horror—
And many cry upon witnessing
The utter desolation and ruin of that dark place.
Tired Souls listlessly huddle together in pitch darkness,
And together await the dawning of the sun;
So that heaven can hear their plea,
In unison they continuously hum.

Desolation

My heart rate rises and perspiration ensues;
I try to hold it back, but it is persistent in it’s pursuit.
I curse it to hell, but it is not easily compelled;
Anger rushes in with the deepness of a well.
I try again valiantly as I press against it’s will,
But I have been infiltrated, now the battle is uphill.
My thoughts now consume me; my body tense with fear;
I cry out to the heavens, in hopes that God will hear.
I listlessly wait for an answer or a sign,
But in a dark room, I realize the cross to bear is mine.

It Takes From Me

Is it not enough that is has taken my joy from me?
Is it not enough that is has taken away my sleep?
Is it not enough that is has infiltrated my thoughts?
Is it not enough that is has robbed me of peace?
Is it not enough that is caused me to be misunderstood by many?
Is it not enough that is has turned those I love away from me?
Is it not enough that it wreaks havoc on my mind and body?
Is it not enough that it seeks to destroy me daily?
Is it not enough that for years it has captured me?
Is it not enough that it feeds on my tears and laughs at me?
Is it not enough that year after year it increases my sorrow?
Is it not enough that it has caused me great suffering since my childhood?
Is it not enough that it caused great pain to my mother as I saw her suffer?
Is it not enough that it is causes incessant and never ending fear?
Is it not enough that it raises my pulse rate and takes my breath away?
Is it not enough that it renders me listless and numb almost perpetually?
What else does it want from me?

Behind The Eyes

 

Fear. A virulent plague penetrating bone, bore deep down into the bone marrow infecting exceedingly efficient, poisoning the blood stream. It shows no mercy to its hosts, leaving behind a shell of what was, or what could have been. Rendering its verdict with lightning speed before withdrawing to its place of darkness, where many like it exist. Day and night they feed on their hosts with unrelenting hunger. The ugliness, the unsightly ugliness of it is hard to fathom. Its trail of carnage is the making of nightmares; the stench sears one’s nostrils. Victims stumble around in the dark on cold nights searching for release and relief. The bottle becomes a close friend and narcotics a savior. Street lights tower above and witness their moments of slight reprieve. The sounds of splintered glass under shuffling feet signal their hour of desperation. Passersby look on in horror, but render no aid. Rodents display red beady eyes as they peer out of dark shadows to bear witness to the mire. Eyes, it is in those weary eyes, that you see the pain and plight of the sufferers. The eyes that look through you, the weeping, the misery. The thousand-yard stare is cast and it is frightening, almost crippling. Fear and anxiety are the masters of their torment, their faces are the faces of sorrow. Tears stream down weathered and wrinkled flesh, despondent faces indeed tell the tale of their wretched existence. Stories of a lifetime told in the blinking of an eye; the harrowing details of which can frighten the reader and instill fear in the listener. Fear, behind the eyes is where it dwells. Behind the eyes, is the place of their torment.

Darkness Falls

My hopes and prayers I will keep,
In winter winds and suffering deep.
The darkness swirls and hides the light,
As I face the terrors of the night.

I will not wail; I will not fear,
As darkness falls, it holds me there.
In chains I’m bound in desperate plight;
Still, I taunt the terrors of the night.

If the moon and the sun will hear my plea,
Then one faithful day, I may be free.
In chains I’m bound, but still I fight
For I pray for the day of eternal light.

Words Of Inspiration

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Today, remember that you will win the war that rages in your mind. You have lost many battles, but you will win the war. I know you are tired; I know you want to give up. The journey has been long and weary. People that you held close and that you told your inner secrets, and deep feelings to, have betrayed your trust. They have now shown their true colors. They make a mockery of your pain; they minimize your condition; they trivialize your plight as something you should just be able to get over. At first they seemed genuine. They would sit for hours and intently listen to the stories of your many sorrows. They would seem engaged and sympathetic. They would offer hugs and comfort. This comfort would draw you closer to the person and lead to intimacy, and sometimes long term commitments. Until one day the venom concealed in their hearts is revealed through vile and malicious words that cut deep; that poison. It is in that moment you realize the many traps and snares that they laid for you. It is in that moment that you understand the depths of their wickedness and deceit. You begin to see the intricacies and the patience with which they carried out their plot. Using your pain and suffering as a weakness, to use you for whatever they could. Your suffering is their gain. It is in that moment that you must gird up and find your strength. It is in that moment that you must allow your inner light to take over, and lay waste to the darkness. You must not allow them to hurt you. You will not allow anyone to hurt you.

You are loved by someone, somewhere, even if you don’t know it. You were fooled once, but you will never be fooled again. Their poisonous venom will not paralyze you; it will not invade your blood stream; it will not stop your heart. You will live. You will live and thrive. Your spirit is that of an eagle soaring high above vast mountains. You are a peaceful stream in a lush green valley. There is a valor in you that you have yet to discover. Your beauty lies in your many complexities. Many have yet to discover the depths of you. Many are not worthy to discover your hidden gems and the secret compartments of your heart. In your suffering you will find yourself; you will find your strength. You will draw it out as water is drawn out from a well. Do not be discouraged. Your heart is strong, and your will to survive is primal; your instincts are hardwired in you and they will not fail you. You will not allow fear to rule over you. You will not allow anxiety to imprison you or hold you in perpetual bondage. You will not allow illness of any kind to destroy you. You will fight. You will not abandon your post. You will not give the enemy any contentment in your pain. You will not be broken by the enemy. You will show no fear in the face of your enemy. You will not shed tears, for you have given enough for a lifetime. Your knees will not be weak and your hands will not shake. Your spirit will not tremble. You will be as fearless as the grey wolf. You will carry the fierceness of a Kodiak Bear protecting her cubs. You will be a rock and a lighthouse for others. You will be a comfort to those in pain. You will love again. You will win.

We Dance

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In tempests, we shall dance.

In the midst of the deep sea, we shall dance.

In fire, we shall dance.

In floods, we shall dance.

In the face of fear, we shall dance.

In endless sorrows, we shall dance.

In our darkest days, we shall dance.

In the throes of death, we shall dance.

For The Afflicted

I see your affliction. I see your pain. You are not unnoticed. I see your misery, and your many sorrows. I see your heaviness of heart; I see the toll the hard years have taken on you. People pass by and stare. You are looked down upon, sidelined, and ostracized. You have lost hope and have given up. You have nothing left to give. You are misunderstood. You have suffered in silence for many years. I see your suffering. I understand the depths of your pain.

Family have turned their backs on you. Spouses have left when you needed them most. You have lost your means of income and have no one to turn to for help. You sacrifice everything for your children, but it’s still not enough. Friends have abandoned you in your time of need, and former colleagues talk about you behind your back. I understand your plight, and I see your pain.

Physical illness has caused you immense pain and suffering. Mental illness has caused agony, and great sorrow. You are in constant distress. You try to hide your affliction from the world for fear of being outcast. For fear of being laughed at and persecuted. I see your pain.

You have lost your home and are now homeless. You never thought it would happen to you; you cry every day and night. You were disavowed by everyone you know, even those you held close. I see your pain; I see your tears. 

You suffered abuse as a child. You were failed by those who were supposed to protect you. You have carried this secret with you into adulthood. It is a heavy burden that has weighed you down. You have shed tears in the dark. You have suffered in silence. I see your pain and your tears. I see your anger and your sorrow.

You used to be vibrant, happy and full of life, but depression has taken away your joy and your happiness. You are in pain. You try to be strong for your children and smile, but they see your tears. You have contemplated ending it all; closing your eyes forever. I see your intense pain. I see your weeping and sorrow.

Addiction has ruined your life. You are a shell of who you once were. You have hurt the people that love you; you are held captive by your addiction. You want to stop and you have tried many times, but now you feel that you are at the point of no return. I see your pain.

You have been tossed around from home to home, and you feel like nobody wants you. The foster parents who said they would always love you, have thrown you away like trash. You are tired of the broken promises and disappointments. You want to be genuinely loved. I see your pain and your hurt. I love you. 

You have suffered abuse for many years. It has broken your spirit; it has dimmed the light inside of you. You want to leave but you are afraid; you don’t know what to do. I see your torment. I see your suffering and your many tears.

You have carried heavy burdens all of your life. They have worn on you along the way. You want to be free. You want peace.  I understand your plight; I see your suffering. Tears fall as emotions encompass me. You are not unnoticed. I see your affliction. I see your pain. I love you.