Unsolicited dreams stalk my slumber.
The remnants of you linger;
More and more, I attempt to purge myself of you,
But you cling to me like permanent viscous residue.
If only one night I could rest without the
Unabating taste of you;
The breath of you, like the fragrance of white gardenias—
I inhale eagerly, and in my in-breathe
I hold my breath so I can absorb
The depths of you within me.
In my room I find myself emotional,
And the tears stream endlessly.
Against my wishes my heart craves you
And stubbornly refuses to mend;
In another futile attempt, I withdraw
And try to cleanse you from my system again.
My anger is kindled against my own aura.
There must be an ending to this purgatory of uncertainty.
Do you still love me or do you hate me utterly?
The constant conflict within me
Is the fire of my insanity;
An answer must be given,
For my soul tires—and my heart wilts
Like the dark petals of unwatered flowers.
Detesting the memories of you,
But then secretly hoping for another dream,
I find myself in the torture of the grey in-between.
You are my love and my concupiscence;
You are my agony and my misery.