A Dark Affair

The darkness drains me and leaves me listless. I stumble around in dizziness and shortness of breath. My dark feathered friend the crow, tilts her head, and looks at me through keen eyes with a certain peculiarity. I wonder if she can sense my pain or see my despair. I was in love once, but my beloved abandoned me once I arrived here. I was asleep and was awakened with fright; I reached for her but she wasn’t there. She left a sordid note stating:

My love,

I love you, but I can no longer stay here. I care for you, but I can’t deal with the darkness and fear. I’ve tried to understand you, but it’s all just too much for me to bear. Here’s your ring back, and you can cancel the wedding arrangements we made for next year.

Sincerely, 
Alyna

I could feel the darkness taunting me and laughing at my sorrow and tears. The darkness wants to take from me, leave me with nothing and strip me bare. She would leave me when I needed her most, in the middle of the night, under the pretense of care. 

It was that night, that the darkness embraced me tightly, and whispered foully in my ear: They will all leave you, but I will always be here.

My Love for You

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A warm summer breeze blows your long hair against your face as we engage in joyous laughter; I cannot put in words the love I feel for you. I am taken to another place ever time I kiss you; an ethereal realm with heaven’s light, for just us two. Every time you are not near I miss you. At your side in the hospital, doubt clouded my mind and there were times I thought you wouldn’t pull through. Ceaselessly I prayed for your healing while holding your hands, for that is the only thing I could do. I fell asleep, and when I awakened, I swore I saw four heavenly angels in light surrounding you. My sweet, my care and my love for you is true; you are more beautiful than a pink rose in the morning dew. You have given me your hand in marriage, and I have vowed a sacred vow to always love and protect you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

The Depths of Her Pain

Cold fall winds blow
A woman looks out of a window
The eyes that stare are the eyes of sorrow
This is not the mask of joy she wears
For these eyes are the eyes that people don’t know
In silence and loneliness she suffers
And she will wear her mask again tomorrow
To perform her daily and arduous show
But if one could get past the mask
To see her pain and daunting task
And offer a comforting place for tears to flow
Then the depths of her they would know –

We Will Prevail

In the face of fear let us hold onto our light;
In our darkest hours we will prevail against the horrors of the night.

Though we are sorrowful, we are spirited;
Though we may fear, our hearts will not fail;
Though our crosses are heavy, we will not falter;
Though we shed tears, our hearts are filled with love;
Though we are misunderstood, we will persevere;
Though we may be unloved, we will find the strength to love ourselves.

Neither fear, nor sorrow, nor doubt, nor tribulation, nor fire, or deep waters stop our resolve.

Let our names be written in gold and read aloud in heaven’s roll.
Let the world stare upon us in jealousy and wonder.
Let us, the sorrowful, meet at that peaceful river and cry in each other’s arms.
Let us all link and hold each other in love as we silently turn our heads to the sky and look at the starlight.

The Final Scene

Cold winds pierce through her black veil. She stands there alone; all the other faces of sorrow have departed. She stands there and looks down upon the remnants of him, as the cold and howling winds blow against her. She has not cried. She has not shown any emotion. Her face is solemn. The winds continue to howl as her black dress and veil are pressed against her from one side from the violence of the winds. The grey skies open and cold rain is released. Still, she stands there completely still. Her eyes are fixated on him as she continues to stare. She does not morn for him, for he was the cause of her pain and suffering. She had endured the torture for over thirty years. The beatings and the abuse; the endless suffering; the wailing. All he has left her is torturous memories and a dark void. She doesn’t shed tears because his death is her life. She is numb from the many years she has endured. The sorrow in her eyes is for herself, because of all the wasted years of unhappiness and heartache. The tears of her soul are for the stillborn child she conceived in agony; the wounds and scars of her abuse visible for all to see, as she cried out in pain. He had blamed her for the loss of the child and had become even more violent and abusive, even as she lied listless in bed for months. He hit her violently time and time again, as she lie there numb and in silent tears. The pain of losing her child was a pain she could not fathom and had never felt before. Tears streamed down her face, as she prayed to the heavens day after day. Now, as he lie in a wooden box, no life in him, she is emotionless. The winds pick up in speed and the howling is louder; it is cold and the rain is coming down in torrents. She is unmoved. She removes her veil and black satin gloves and throws them onto the top of the casket, in an act of finality. She takes a rose and places it next to her heart for the child she had lost. Without looking back, she walks away as she empties herself of his memory.