Memories Of a Loving Past

Memories of my father;
Oh wait, I never had a father;
So instead I dedicate this day to my mother
Who cried in quiet darkness,
And lived in silent suffering,
And I remember those nights as a child
I didn’t understand her pain
And the depths of her,
But I wrapped my arms around her 
To hold and console her,
As we cried together,
And I told her I loved her,
And we had each other,
Then we prayed together,
And she told me she would leave me never,
Then she said although we didn’t have much,
We would always have love,
And each other;
Then she wiped away my tears,
And I kissed her,
Smiled, and thanked the heavenly Father
That I had a loving mother.

Joyous Tears

Kiss me in the moonlight;
Let me drink of your valley stream;
Adorn me in your endless love,
And wrap me in a dream;
Take all of me with you my love, 
For I long for you each day;
Kiss me passionately with your sweet lips,
And take my fears and troubles away;
You are my angel and I love you with a love
That can’t be fathomed or explained;
You came to me at my lowest point,
In the darkness and the rain;
My pain, my joy, my struggle, and my sorrow
You have witnessed through the years;
Your love and understanding of my heart,
Is why I cry joyous tears.

A Place of Love

Let us reminisce on those summer nights of love that exist in our not so distant memories. That first kiss and tender touch. Let us go to that place where the fireflies light up the evening sky in joyous celebration. Let the moon and stars look down upon our hearts and smile. Let’s journey to a place of love; a place of peace.

The Plight of The Lonely

And after I had told her of my condition and plight,
She held and kissed me, and reassured me that night;
In the weeks to come she would witness my pain;
The perpetually dark clouds, and never ending rain.
It was then she asked me why I couldn’t cope;
And it was then I told her to read the words that I wrote.
She read about the darkness and the fear that I faced,
As I witnessed the look of bewilderment on her face.
I tried to explain to her my daily fight,
My constant sorrow, and my sleepless nights;
She told me she loved me, but she couldn’t stay;
Then she gently kissed me, turned, and walked away.

My World

In my world I awake to daily suffering
In my world there is no respite
In my world fear incapacitates 
In my world listlessness is not unusual 
In my world the mind debilitates 
In my world there is no calm

In my world thoughts wage war
In my world I perpetually search for light
In my world I walk in ruin surrounded by darkness
In my world peace has become an anomaly 
In my world the darkness slowly suffocates
In my world illness has metastasized 

In my world insomnia allows me no rest
In my world I am consumed by my own thoughts
In my world the darkness seeks to consume me
In my world I walk a lonely road of pain
In my world the past relentlessly stalks
In my world nothing is as it seems

Sensual Sentiments

Intimate whispers in quiet settings reveal ethereal undertones as we kiss deeply, and our spirits intertwine and connect in the higher heights of the heavenly realm past the clouds, and into deep and mysterious galaxies. Your chandelier earrings fall sensually against the backdrop of your neck and your long dark hair is pulled up, revealing your delicate neckline, exhibiting your alluring necklace that is adorned upon you. In sultry appeal, your femininity stuns me. The potency of your essence is like a rare perfume carefully bottled with not one drop spilled, and held in priceless value; it is precious and used sparingly. Your eyes are a seductive treat, every gaze intriguing me and invigorating a deep passion within me, that only true love could fathom. In these passionate moments my only desire is to explore you thoroughly and slowly, taking the time to awaken and invigorate all of  your senses, leaving inhibitions behind, as we are hypnotized and driven to the edge of seductive pleasure. The sounds of your willing and eager reception of my sensual passion stimulate me to the depths of my subconscious thought. Let me kiss you and infuse you with boundless delight, and unlimited indulgence. Your beauty captivates me and compels me to fall in trancelike state, as love and emotion pour out of me, and makes my soul cry out from within. Allow me to caress you, and put your body and mind at ease in a relaxed state. Darling, your smile is gorgeous and inviting. Your laughter warms my heart and speaks to my soul; it draws me into the essence of your spirit. Each day I rediscover your love, and I am thankful for your graceful beauty. Your white evening gown adorned with lace is stunning; your rose colored lipstick highlights the fullness of your lips, and leaves me in amazement. Your heels accentuate your femininity and erotically emphasize your womanhood. Your elegance and softness drive me to passionate insanity. Where are the words? Where can I find the words to accurately display the infiniteness of your beauty and love? My sweet angel, let us kiss and embrace while your essence overtakes me, and our silhouette is permanently captured in the reflection of the bright moonlight.

Destiny

I will slow dance with destiny under a full moon and a starry night’s  sky. I will woo her with sweet words of love, and kiss her in a moment of passion. I will ask for her favor and for her hand in marriage. O destiny, how beautiful you are! Together you and I will reach for the stars. My sweet love, you have kissed me with a kiss of fortune and success; you have seen my dreams, and have acknowledged my desires. You have felt the passion in my heart and have witnessed my tears of disappointment. Why don’t we take a stroll through lush and wonderfully scented lavender fields while discussing matters of love and our future together? We have known each other for quite some time, and now I have expressed my feelings and poured out my heart to you. Destiny please stay by my side forever, for you and I are in love, and we will face our future together.

It Takes From Me

Is it not enough that is has taken my joy from me?
Is it not enough that is has taken away my sleep?
Is it not enough that is has infiltrated my thoughts?
Is it not enough that is has robbed me of peace?
Is it not enough that is caused me to be misunderstood by many?
Is it not enough that is has turned those I love away from me?
Is it not enough that it wreaks havoc on my mind and body?
Is it not enough that it seeks to destroy me daily?
Is it not enough that for years it has captured me?
Is it not enough that it feeds on my tears and laughs at me?
Is it not enough that year after year it increases my sorrow?
Is it not enough that it has caused me great suffering since my childhood?
Is it not enough that it caused great pain to my mother as I saw her suffer?
Is it not enough that it is causes incessant and never ending fear?
Is it not enough that it raises my pulse rate and takes my breath away?
Is it not enough that it renders me listless and numb almost perpetually?
What else does it want from me?

Against All Odds

For those of us who face seemingly insurmountable odds in our lives. For those of us who have struggled, and given with nothing left to give. For those those of us who are misunderstood due to our internal anguish and silent turmoil. For those of us who sit in silent darkness late into the night and release tears without being seen. For those of us who have loved, and lost love.

Against All Odds – Phil Collins (1984)

Sorrow

I walk a lonely road where no one can find me. It seems that fear has engulfed me, and sorrow has overtaken me. Wide and fearsome eyes glow in the darkness and surround me. I hesitate to cry out, for I have accepted the reality of perpetual futility. Dark creatures hover above; it is my spirit they seek to take from me. In silent despair, I accept that my faith has left me, reluctantly. The road is dark and I can’t see anything in front of me. My blindness in the vast darkness has caused me to move painfully slowly. In sorrow, my will wanes, and my heart beats lethargically. In the chains and clutches of the dark place, my desire is to one day be free. Tears have fallen from my eyes like in a rainy season when raindrops fall from overcast skies. Who will hear my pleas? Who will acknowledge my cries? O most merciful God, please don’t abandon me now in my time of need, for the darkness seeks to consume me, and fear and sorrow have almost brought me to my knees.