Dedicated to You

I dedicate this to all of you who have lost your mothers.

Today has been a day of reflection and solitude for me. I have been asking the heavenly Father, what I have asked since my childhood. That oft familiar and poignant question: Lord, why did you take my mother? Why did you let her die? In my adulthood, I seemingly still not have come to absolute terms that my beautiful mother is no longer living. I have asked myself for quite some time if my questions are somehow overly simplistic or childlike in nature. Who knows? I know some may say, there is no one answer, or it was her time, or who could really know the reasons God allows certain things to happen? I guess all or most of these answers would be acceptable, but something in me still grapples with idea of her not being here.

Is it an unrealistic premise to finally find some sort of satisfactory answer to her death? I don’t know. Then again, I would refuse any answer at all to be a finite and everlasting conclusion. At this point I think I will just let it lie. I have been on this hamster wheel long enough, and I have been well overdue to get off and just appreciate her for who she was, and who she is in my heart. Oft as a child, I would ask God why he didn’t take me with her. I was told by family and by the friends of my mother, that I was in the car when it happened. I still can’t remember anything from that fateful day and I probably never will. There is so much more I can write but I will leave it here.

So with that being said, I would like to thank all the wonderful mothers out there in the world. I would also like to dedicate this piece to all the sad and lonely boys and girls who have lost their Moms. I grieve with you. I grieve for you. Please remember there are many of us who share in your pain, and I understand your sorrow. Seek your answers and cry as long as you want to, for you have no cause to be ashamed. I for one can say that I care about you and I love you.  You may see your friends with their mom’s and dad’s, and be sad. You may see members of your family with their parents, but remember you are special, and Mom watches over you, and she loves you. Always remember her in your heart and she will live on in your memory.

Blessings to you.

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